Ladies Room

-phot cred. Jessica "cameraface" Chanen

Once when I was on the plane from Bolivia to Chile I was sitting in the window seat and this woman was sitting in the aisle seat. I really had to go to the bathroom…bad…so after much deliberation I politely and in my best, most well thought out Spanish, asked her to move for me. She had a baby in her arms that she was holding and she looked at me then down at her baby. Then she responded with a simple shoulder shrug “I just can’t move with the baby.” I was completely surprised and didn’t really know how to respond. I mean who the fuck doesn’t let you go to the bathroom on a plane because they're holding a baby? So, I gritted my teeth and sat in silence-listening to her stupid baby talk-for the rest of the flight. (Obviously cursing her and her baby in my head with every word I know.) Clearly I should have protested more, but my Spanish was in no way fit for fighting words. After blinking back tears for two hours, I finally got to pee.

The eighth annual World Toilet Summit and Expo is set to commence in Macau today. As a woman with a bladder--and probably at least 100 accounts of crying and near-pant-peeing experiences--I find this news extremely important and pertinent. While some of the keys issues to be discussed will include world wide sanitation issues, and new toilet designs, women’s representation will also hold major clout. “The first of these initiatives, "Potty Parity," is to be debated at the event, and will look to review and address the ratio of female to male cubicles in public toilets.”

I think they should also add airplane bathroom etiquette to their initiatives…among many other suggestions I can think of.

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